Dear Survivor: Should I talk to someone?

Angélica V. Hernández, Ph.D.
1 min readJan 24, 2022


Should I talk to someone? My husband thinks I should talk to someone about my being molested when I was a kid. He says it is affecting our sex life.

The Past is the Past

I don’t understand why I should dredge up the past. I have moved on. I am a mother now; I have moved on in my life. Why relive something so painful?

Sincerely, Moved-On

Dear Moved-On:

Your husband is offering great advice. Although you may have “moved-on” the effects of abuse are long-lasting and can play out in subtle ways. Your husband may notice things that you are not connecting to your abuse.Clearly, dealing with abuse is painful, but it may also be life changing.

Find a professional therapist that you are comfortable with; this may not be the first person you see but make an honest effort to find someone who is a good match for you. Dealing with the past could clear a path for the present and the future.

It is a risk worth taking.


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Angélica V. Hernández, Ph.D.

Angelica Hernandez, Ph.D. @UCLA, Sexual Trauma Expert, Writer, Speaker for RAINN @RAINN01 and Mamasita of 2.